A conversation between a demented Psychiatrist and his client
Everything means something but not necessarily the same thing to everyone.
Dr. T. sits slouched in his armchair, silent, staring at a vase just behind the shoulder of his patient, C.R. Minutes pass.
C.R. clears his throat, “Well Doc, I think I am making some progress, but I have to tell you, well, I was trying to understand what you were telling me last week, and you know, it was really hard going, but I think I got it. Tricky stuff. You wanted it to be hard for me to follow what you were saying, because if it were easy, it would not help me, and you were right. I noticed the voices are not as loud as they used to be, more like a whisper, and since last week, most of the time I don’t do what they tell me to do. And one more thing, the voices, they don’t interrupt what I am thinking as much, and they even tell me they like me.”
Dr. T. interrupts, “Yes, good, I know, but for now just Shhhhhhhh. Let’s go back to where we were – where we were then, not now, when I was telling you about lufoooto astorovo nickmara, nostonia.”
C.R. bolts upright and moves to the front of his chair. “I don’t understand. I don’t get it. Just like last week, and I asked you then. I remember asking you about what language, or maybe special code, you are using to talk to me. Wait a minute, oh I know, I am asking you a trick question, or you are trying to test me with a really important answer.”
Dr. T replies very slowly, “Fuk mar, fuk mar now and forever.”
C.R. hesitates and then asks, “What is fuk mar, what is it? It sounds like fuck more but I know you didn’t mean that.”
Dr. T looks disappointed, “No, I said fuk mar, fuk mar. “
“Wait a minute, I get it.” C.R. responds, “You are saying fuck you. But why are you saying that to me? Maybe, got it. You are saying fuk mar to tell the voices to shut up. You are telling my voices to fuck off in a language they understand.”
Dr. T replies, “Yes fuk mar and forevel so that the dingle mok wins in doubles and if not go your own way. “
C.R. thinks for a moment. “I have to think about that some more. Yeah, I think I know what you mean, you mean, fuk mar.”
………and so humans impose order, structure, and meaning on all of our external and internal sensory experiences. We transform what we note based on whatever knowledge we have.
After thought
When you treat patients as long as I have one has to step back and ask what I am doing that makes a difference. I certainly wonder but never forget that the patient does all the work (perhaps with some encouragement). I also question whether we are too willing to take what we do and say to seriously. This morning I again read the Obituary section of the New York Times. Do I appear? Am I dead? Also, maybe the obituary will tell me who I was during my lifetime.